When I started this blog I was going through some really rough times. The worst ones I’ve had. I was ready to kill myself and I hated everything. I was very sad all the time. I did this one depression test back then and I got a bit over 40 points, don’t remember the exact amount. But now, just about two days ago I did the same test again when I was seeing my therapist and I got 18 points! Only 18!
I still hate myself more than anything, but the thougths that I want to die are getting rare. I feel almost okay in some days, not happy, but okay. It’s bearable. It’s something I can live with. It’s something that doesn’t make me want to die.
I am getting better. I am recovering. There’s still a long way for me to go, but I’m getting there. I want to recover and I will work really hard for it. Some day I will be happy again.